why im done trying to be “man enough”.docxVIP

As an actor, I get scripts?and its my job to stay on script,?to say my lines?and bring to life a character that someone else wrote.?Over the course of my career,?Ive had the great honor?playing some of the greatest male role models ever?represented on television.?You might recognize me as Male Escort #1.Photographer Date Rapist,?Shirtless Date Rapist?from the award-winning Spring Break Shark Attack.Shirtless Medical Student,?Shirtless Steroid-Using Con Man?and, in my most well-known role, as Rafael.Shirtless Medical Student,?Shirtless Steroid-Using Con Man?and, in my most well-known role, as Rafael.Now, these roles dont represent the kind of man I am in my real life,?but thats what I love about acting.?I get to live inside characters very different than myself.?But every time I got one of these roles, I was surprised,?because most of the men I play ooze machismo,charisma and power,?and when I look in the mirror, thats just not how I see myself.?But it was how Hollywood saw me,?and over time, I noticed a parallel?between the roles I would play as a man?both on-screen and off.Ive been pretending to be a man that Im not my entire life.?Ive been pretending to be strong when I felt weak,?confident when I felt insecure?and tough when really I was hurting.?I think for the most part Ive just been kind of putting on a show,?but Im tired of performing.?And I can tell you right now?that it is exhausting trying to be man enough for everyone all the time.?Now -- right?My brother heard that.Now, for as long as I can remember, Ive been told?the kind of man that I should grow up to be.?As a boy, all I wanted was to be accepted and liked by the other boys,?but that acceptance meant I had to acquire?this almost disgusted view of the feminine,?and since we were told that feminine is the opposite of masculine,?I either had to reject embodying any of these qualities?or face rejection myself.?This is the script that weve been given.?Right? Girls are weak, and boys are strong.?This is wha