学生雅思作文评价及批改示例.pdfVIP

智 课 网 雅 思 备 考 资 料 学生雅思作文评价及批改示例 很多同学都有这样的感觉―：明明觉得雅思作文写的不错，可就是 分数不高。下面我们就通过雅思作文案例来看看作文中有哪些易错点和 需要注意的关键点。 Task: Someone believes that a taxpayer has done his part as a citizen. However, someone believes that a citizen should assume other responsibilities. Discuss both views and present your opinion. （1）It is observed that paying tax has become the obligation of every citizen. Money collected from people plays a great part in the development of the whole society. （2）While other people voice that there exists other responsibilities one should take of the society as a whole. （3）On my account, both sizes of question always appear to have so much merit. 首段综评：从语法与词汇两个方面来说，（1）部分的引题还算成 功。但是，其后（2）部分的“while other people voice that则显得 很突兀，因为之前并没有与之相对应的“一些人”。随后的（3）部分 中所用到的句式则非常奇怪。 （4）First of all, tax is one of the most important element to maintain economy balanced. Taxes program a critical function in one country’s development. Social welfare, constructions and various undertakings depend much on the fund of taxes. So money originated from taxpayers is used on themselves. （5）Thanks to people’s regular payments, poverty population’s lowest living condition can be preserved and improved. Poor people are able to be treated in hospital when they are ill. Besides, finance departments plan the whole year’s budgets according to the quantity of tax revenue. 二段综述：（4）（5）的基本逻辑关系为：概述+ 详述。（4）部 分包含三个自然句，其间出现了缠绕的论证 ，这是英文写作中的大忌。 （5）部分也出现了相同问题。 建议修改：It is out of question that taxation mechanism is a keystone, upon which economic development is sustained and social undertakings are assured. （本段主题句）For example（举例）, optimizing the revenue collected from taxation system, governments have infrastructure ameliorated and cater for various civilians needs. As a result（结果 ）, the public, irrespective of their backgrounds, can have the opportunities of public hospitalization, personal enrichment, and prom