英语幽默小笑话大全.docxVIP

英语幽默小笑话大全 1.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word KISS scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a KISS before you begin your speech. The speaker smiled and explained, You dont know my wife. The KISS she give me stands for Keep It Short, Stupid. 2.A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up! Little Johnny then stood up. The teacher said, Do you think youre stupid, Johnny? No, maam, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself! 一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。 小约翰尼站了起来。 “你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。 “不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。” 3.a great man Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today? Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years. 一名伟人 老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？ 学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到 400 多岁。 4Two Cute dogs A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, Does your dog bite? The shopkeeper says, No, my dog does not bite. The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. Ouch, he says, I thought you said your dog does not bite! The shopkeeper replies, That is not my dog. 6.Policeman: Why didnt you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, theyd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse. 警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？ 男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗 金牙。那就更糟了。 The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog. Its all right, said a gentleman, dont be afraid. Dont you know the proverb: Barking dogs dont bite? Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too? 一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。 “没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”