英语笑话300篇.docVIP

1Life after death 死后重生 Do you believe in life after death? the boss asked one of his employees. Yes, Sir. the new recruit replied.Well, then, that makes everything just fine, the boss went on. After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmothers funeral, she stopped in to see you. “你相信人能死后重生吗？”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信，先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦，那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后，她老人家到这儿看你来了。” Five Hundred Times 五百遍 In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judges eye. You are a school teacher, eh? said he. Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write I went through a red light five hundred times. 在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。” 3Blind Date 相亲 After being with her all evening, the man couldnt take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.Thank heavens, his date replied. If yours hadnt, mine would have had to! 和盲约对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”“谢天谢地！”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了！” 4Six or Twelve?六还是十二？ A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she‘d like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she‘d like to have it cut into: six or twelve. “Oh, goodness, six please,” said the blonde. “I don‘t think I could ever eat twelve.” 一位金发女郎走进一家比萨店，她说想要一个中比萨，店员问她希望把比萨切成六块还是十二块。“噢，天啊，请帮我切成六块。”女郎说，“我可不认为我能吃得下十二块比萨。”] 是什么让男人走在女人的后面 Reversal