【TESYUYI】3.11 已批改.docxVIP

作文批改报告society is based on rules and laws. It could not function well if individuals were free to do as they please.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Write an essay expressing your point of view.Task作文得分Dear TESYUYI,This essay covers the task and its structure is fine. However all the examples you have given in the essays are not so much persuading. In other words, it will be better if you can add more supporting evidence to convince your readers. In terms of the vocabulary, You use prepositions in an inaccurate way and you have some misunderstanding about the meaning of certain words. When we come to grammar, you have made several fatal mistakes like fragments in sentence.So, please pay attention to the structure of each sentence when you are writing! More often than not, it is acceptable to have some little mistakes in an essay but fatal mistakes are intolerable to the examiner. Come on and hold on, baby!6点评Score评分项解释得分Task Response·addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others ·presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive ·presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed / unclear6Coherence and Cohesion·arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression·uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical·may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately·uses paragraphing, but not always logically6Lexical Resources·uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task ·may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader 5Grammatical Range and Accuracy·uses a mix of simple and complexsentence forms· makes some errors in grammar andpunctuation but they rarely reducecommunication6细节批改 Step 1: Task Response文章首段直接而明确的提出了自己的观点，法律和规则是社会的基础，应在合法范围内行使个人自由，否则社会秩序全无，中心明确。紧接着，文章以三个分论点来支撑中心观点，a