Parenting After Separation What’s Up with Fat.pptVIP

Parenting After Separation: What’s Up with Fathers?Victoria University of Wellington Robert E. Emery University of Virginia ree@ Take Home Messages Divorced families are still families And need to be understood in family systems terms Relationships don’t end with divorce Parenting and co-parenting must be renegotiated The renegotiation “answer” is… the negotiation Procedure not substance critical in the law (as in parenting) Judges, custody evaluators don’t have secret answers But mediators, collaborative lawyers have helpful procedures… Emotions are biggest obstacle to renegotiating We ask parents to do something emotionally unnatural A Focus on Fathers Fathers are not replaceable family parts Psychologically present even when physically absent Children benefit from father involvement In more subtle ways… Big reason behind lower father contact is… Not disregard for father’s rights Fathers’ rights (or mothers’ rights) is wrong focus But conflict and grief Is Fatherhood Changing? Primary custody (Grall, 2006; Meyer Garasky, 1993) 1960: Fathers = 10% 2004: Fathers = 16.9% Joint Physical Custody? Many claim joint physical is increasing, normative Lawyers at recent WI meeting: 95% of agreements Joint Physical Custody? National Center for Health Statistics (1995) 16% of divorce agreements But ??: 44% in Montana, 4% Nebraska See Emery (1999) Lack of data is perhaps what’s most shocking Amato and Emery, in progress Changes in Father Involvement Weekly contact increasing significantly No significant change in dropouts Divorced Dads higher contact than never married Dads Far short of joint physical custody majority Is Fatherhood changing?Yes, but… Married Families Direct childcare in married families (Bianchi, 2000) 1965: Fathers = .24 as much time as mothers 1998: Fathers = .55 as much time as mothers Aside: Approximation rule 1/3 time with fathers = 120 overnights/year on average Trends: Fathers much more involved Mothers still do most direct parenting Undete