英语写作的笑话之五.docVIP

46/ The Best Answer A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out? The winning reply was: The one nearest the exit. 47/Moses Jesus A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice Jesus is watching you. He looks around with his flashlight wandering What the hell was that?” He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice “Jesus is watching you. He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks “Was that your voice?. It said Yes. He then says Whats your name?” It says Moses. The burglar says “What kind of person names his bird Moses?? The parrot replies The same person that names his Rottweiler ‘Jesus’ 48/ Skinny Dipping One day Jimmy went down to the pond for a dip, but before he could dive in he spied his teacher, Mrs. Smith, emerging from nude bathing. When Mrs. Smith saw Jimmy, she grabbed the nearest object - which happened to be an old wooden box - and held it in front of her. Young man, I know what youre thinking, she said. And I know what youre thinking, replied Jimmy. Youre thinking that box has a bottom on it! 49/ The Bait A man and his wife were on a holiday. They went for a sail. Unfortunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was found. Two weeks later he received a wire saying: Body recovered yesterday covered with crabs. Send instructions. The man sent a wire back saying, Sell crabs, send the money; reset bait. 50/ Chaude and Cold A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. This is an outrage, he complained. The faucet marked C gave me boiling water. But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal. Wait a minute, roared the pa