生活幽默.docVIP

生活幽默 A Silly Father Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face. Hearing that, Mr. White became very angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said, You beat my son and I dare to beat yours. 傻爸爸 怀特先生在房间里看电视，他八岁的儿子走进来哭着说：“爸爸，刚才爷爷打了我一耳光。”怀特先生听了非常生气，突然，他重重地扇了自己一耳光，说：“你打我儿子，我也敢打你儿子。” A Birthday Present Helen: Mum, do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what is it? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But Ive got a nice teapot. Helen: No, you havent. Ive just dropped it! 生日礼物 海伦： 妈妈，你知道你过生日我会送你什么礼物吗？ 妈妈：亲爱的，我猜不出，是什么东西？ 海伦：一个很漂亮的茶壶。 妈妈：可我有一个很好的茶壶了。 海伦：不，你没有。我刚把它掉地上摔了。 A teacher said to her class: Who was the first man? George Washington, a little boy shouted promptly. How do you make out that George Washington was the first man? asked the teacher, smiling indulgently. Because, said the little boy, he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen. But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. Well, said the teacher to him, who do you think was the first man? I dont know what his name was,said the larger boy,but I know it wasnt George Washington, maam, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.　 谁是第一个男人？ 有个老师问班上的学生： “谁是第一个男人？” “乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。 “你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。 小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。” 这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。 “那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？” “我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。” Where are his books? Jack: Oh, what a lovely bookshelf you have. How come you have no books on it? John: Yeah, I had quite a lot before, but I sold all of them to buy this bookshelf. 他的书在哪儿？ 　　　　　　 杰克：哦，你的书架可真漂亮呀！可为什么上面一本书也没有呢？ 约翰：是啊，以前我到是有很多书，但是为买这个书架，我把书全卖了。 Wedding Mrs. Jones and her little daughter Karen were outside the church watching all the coming and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been