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Weve lost seven of our last eight matches. The only team that we have beaten is Western Samoa. Its a good job we didnt play the whole of Samoa. Gareth Davies. If theres one thing America needs, its more lawyers.Homer Simpson Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned.George Bernard Shaw Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female.Desmond Morris Submitted by Louise Percival Friendship is the greatest gift of all - until you fancy the same boy Submitted by Breanna Likely Youll never find a woman as good as your Mother so why am I still looking Adding manpower to a late software project makes it laterF. Brooks, The Mythical Man-Month. Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.Alan Coren Stop thinking, and end your problems.Lao Tzu My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.Spike Milligan The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. General George Patton Electricity is really just organized lightning.George Carlin You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.David Brent It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf. Henry Aaron. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Pablo Picasso. One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him. Jeffrey Bernard. Women have a much better time than men in this world. There are far more things forbidden to them.Oscar Wilde Thats Mr. Smut Peddler to you!Larry Flynt In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. Stephen Leacock. I invented it, Bill made it famous.David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC) To write a diary every day is like returning to ones own vomit.Enoch Powell. Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.Mae West The only difference between doctors
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