GoodOmen.DOC-UniversityofSurrey.docVIP

Chapter One In the Beginning... The angel of the Eastern Gate put his wings over his head to shield himself from the first drops. It was a nice day. All the days had been nice. There had been rather more than seven of them so far, and the rain hadnt been invented yet. But clouds massing east of Eden suggested that the first thunderstorm was on its way, and it was going to be a big one. Im sorry, he said politely. What was it you were saying? I said, that one went down like a lead balloon, said the serpent. Oh. Yes, said the angel, whose name was Aziraphale. I think it was a bit of an over-reaction, to be honest, said the serpent. I mean, first offence and everything. I cant see whats so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil, anyway. It must be bad, reasoned Aziraphale, in the slightly concerned tones of one who cant see it either, and is worrying about it, otherwise you wouldnt have been involved. They just said, Get up there and make some trouble, said the serpent, whose name was Crawly although he was thinking of changing it now. Crawly, hed decided, was not him. Yes, but youre a demon. Im not sure if its actually possible for you to do good, said Aziraphale, Its down to your basic, you know, nature. Nothing personal, you understand. Youve got to admit its a bit of a pantomime, though said Crawly. I mean, pointing out the Tree and saying Dont Touch in big letters. Not very subtle, is it? I mean, why not put it on top of a high mountain or a long way off? Makes you wonder what Hes really planning. Best not to speculate, really, said Aziraphale. You cant second guess ineffability, I always say. Theres Right, and theres Wrong. If you do Wrong when youre told to do Right, you deserve to be punished. Er. They sat in embarrassed silence, watching the raindrops bruise the first flowers. Eventually Crawly said, Didnt you have a flaming sword? Er, said the angel. A guilty expression passed across his face, and then came back and camped there. You did,