Feeling Beautiful美之感悟.docxVIP

Feeling Beautiful美之感悟As a child, I felt I was an ugly duckling. You know, the kid no one would play with. Who was considered odd, too skinny,did nothing athletic. My few friends and I constituted the outcast at my grade school.儿时，我总觉得自己是只丑小鸭。其他小孩都不喜欢和我玩，他们觉得我性格怪癖，瘦骨嶙峋，又不爱运动。我和仅有的几个朋友都是被遗弃的对象。Later, as I began to develop a figure and a smile, I still never could shake the feeling that I was substandard. When the prettier girl got the guy, I figured that was only fair-she deserved to be happy. I didn’t.后来，当我越长越漂亮后，便时常笑容满面，但仍摆脱不了自卑的阴影。我认为，一个稍微有些标致的女孩有男朋友是很自然的事——她应该享受幸福。而这种幸福并不属于我。When a guy did give me some attention, I figured he was doing me a favor, so I reciprocated obsessively until he got tired of me. Even when I looked in the mirror and saw something pleasant looking back at me, I figured it was a fluke.每每有男生注意我时，我总觉得他是处于对我的同情，因此对他复印搪塞，知道他讨厌我为止。即使在照镜子时发现自己长得还可以，我也会把这当做纯粹的偶然。Years passed, and I went through some bad relationships, up-and-down weight loss, extreme self-hatred. Then there came a time when I was living in Los Angeles, the land of “everyone looks perfect”. In my own contrariant way, Idecided to differentiate myself.之后的数年，我几经感情的失败，反复地减肥，甚至极端仇视自己。接着，我开始在洛杉矶生活，这是一个“人人完美”的地方。逆向思维驱动着我下决心改变自己。I stopped to coloring my hair and let all the gray show. I stopped wearing makeup. I stopped wearing clothes that I thought would make me look attractive to men. For about three years, I stripped away all the disguises I’d been using and tried to show only myself.我不再染发，让灰白头发全露出来。也不再化妆，不穿吸烟男性目光的衣服。三年中，我蜕掉了所有的伪饰，尽力展现真我。And I discovered something. I am beautiful.此时，我发现自己很漂亮。When I couldn’t rely on my externals to communicate my beauty, I had to turn to internals. I think of internals as spiritualqualities. These qualities are linked to qualities such as love, patience, caring, listening, fun-loving, joy, creativity, peace. Since these are spiritual qualities, each one of us has access to them wherever and whoever we are.不能凭借外表来传达美丽时，我就重视内在美。我认为，内在美是精神品质。这些品质与爱心、耐心、体贴、倾听、