幽默英语短句二十句.docxVIP

幽默英语短句二十句Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.不用和傻瓜吵架，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用丰富的经验打败你。Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你为什么好不了。Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?海豚可聪明了，你晓得不？只需驯养几个星期，他们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.孩子定义：你先花2年教他们走路和说话，然后你再花16年叫他们坐定和闭嘴。It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.跳楼的时候，“啊~~“的时候还没死，”啪！“那才是死了。Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了‘7, A little boy asked his father ,”Daddy,how machdose it cost to get married?”Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要付出多大代价？”他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道、、、、我还在偿付呢。8, If at first you don’t succeed, try again … unless you fail at skydiving.如果一次不成功，别放弃，再试一次、、、、、除非你在跳伞。9， A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.你赶不上的巴士永远比你赶上的巴士跑得快两倍。10， It is said that 90% of the things we worry about will never happen, and the other 10% can be managed. So why do we worry, and what is there to worry about?据说我们所担心的事90%都不会发生，而剩下的10%又完全可以解决。所以，我们为什么要担心呢？又有什么值得担心的呢？11，I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health and love. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or feartry to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soon they’ll forget my number.我的“心灵电话”是为祥和、健康和博爱而设。每当怀疑、焦虑和恐惧试图和我联系时，电话总是在占线，所以很快它们就忘了我的号码12, If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.如果你看到麻烦从路上向你走来，有一点可以确定，在触到你以前，它们十有八九会滚进路边的沟。13， Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable .真正的困难是可